Above: sunlight through the trees around the golf course beside my house!
Hello, friends! Sorry it's been so long since my last post! I guess nothing particularly new or different has occurred the last few weeks. Mostly I've just been busy with work and taking care of the house.
We've been doing some spring cleaning lately. We live in a tiny two bedroom basement suite, and up until now we've had separate bedrooms, mostly due to our vastly different sleeping schedules. However, now that the Fox is on a very flexible schedule and mine is more consistent, we're trying to rearrange our house so that we have one bedroom and one shared studio/workshop room.
I used to use the second bedroom as my art studio, before I got a roommate. It was nice to have a whole room for that sort of thing. Maybe it'll increase my productivity. Anyway, so our end goal is to have both of our computers & desks in there, as well as a work table for the Fox. He came up with the idea of starting some sort of crafting business -- he wants to try making replica weapons for cosplayers (basically prop swords for costumes), as well as miniature papercraft things and such. I think it's a good idea, as it'll allow him to use some of his carpentry skills on a smaller (and less dangerous) scale. He may not be able to use a table saw anymore but he can use different materials on a smaller scale to make hobby things.
On the whole, he's been doing a lot better mentally than he has been for months, so that's excellent. Even though his symptoms are still the same and he still isn't working, he's found better ways of handling the disorder. We actually made a small change that turned out to have a big difference -- his computer chair. Previously he was using a regular office chair that can spin and tilt, as most office chairs do, but he realized that sitting in it was actually making his dizziness so bad that he couldn't focus on anything after even a short period of time sitting in it. So we found a regular old waiting-room chair (literally looks like someone stole it from the waiting room of a dentist's office) for $5 on Craigslist, and that has already made a world of difference. He's now able to sit and focus on things for long periods of time. Which is good because he currently has a little freelance work to do (building a website for a friend of a friend).
So that's all good. We're still only surviving on my income, but it is doable! I'm looking forward to my tax return this year -- that can pay for FaerieWorlds in September. Yay!
Of course, if I'm ever going to go back to school, I'll need him to have some sort of income first, both so that I can save up the tuition and so that he can pay rent during the school term. I don't care if it comes from disability benefits or social assistance, just some sort of income.
Yes, social assistance, a.k.a. welfare, is something we've been trying to get. I have a friend with mental health issues that prevent her from working (anxiety and such) who regularly receives social assistance, as she was also declined for disability, and she told me how the Fox can apply too. So he went down to the office, only to have a piece of paper handed to him and being told to apply online. So he did, and apparently if he's eligible, they'll contact him. I don't expect to hear anything back, given how unhelpful the government has been with all of this stuff (first the employment insurance, then the disability, now the "last resort"... what if he didn't have me to support him? No wonder there is such a problem with homelessness here. If you fall on hard times and can't work, you better hope to have a good support system of family and friends).
The thing is, if we only survive on my income, we're stuck in the same position forever. Technically we live under the poverty line, especially in this overpriced city. And unless we can increase our income, we will not be able to take any steps to improve our situation. Nice little catch-22, eh? I can't stop working, yet unless I save enough to stop working and go back to school in order to get a better job, I will be stuck living paycheque to paycheque forever.
Well, it could be worse. At least my job can support us both in a pinch, and at least we don't have tons of debt (well, aside from the student loan I already had). And we have a good support network in terms of our families, who I know would help us out if we were really desperate.
Anyway! So that's the updates as far as our living situation. We are finding cheap ways to improve our home and maximize the Fox's abilities.
So, Easter was yesterday. Happy Easter! We went over to my aunt's house for my family's annual Easter egg hunt, which she holds in her backyard. It's funny because there's really only one "kid" (my cousin's baby, who is almost two), but all of us grown kids still love it. Including my dad, hah! I was on a team with the Fox, because of his condition, so I acted as a scout and raced around to quickly find eggs while he was mainly in charge of carrying the basket. Got quite a haul of chocolate! Then was the Easter dinner at my parents' house just down the street from my aunt's. That was delicious, and we also celebrated the Fox's birthday and my birthday, as his was last week and mine is coming up in early April. So we were showered with gifts there too, including a Costco card (woo)!
I actually have a three-day weekend because of the holiday. I had yesterday and today off as usual and I'll also have tomorrow off. Yay!! I finally get some rest. It's been hard lately to keep up with work, housework, and grocery shopping, as well as all the other little errands and tasks that tend to pop up. I have not really had time for art lately. I've been working on a coloured pencil drawing of a thrush, which I hope to finish this weekend. I'm still kind of trying to find my niche, which is a process that will likely take ages. However, at least I'm mostly back into doing art.
I've been lax with my pagan stuff lately, due to being so busy. I donated a little painting to the Pagan Pride fundraiser that happened a week or two ago, and was able to pop by the event after work to see how it was going. My painting was on a silent auction and had gotten up to $60 by the time I arrived, so I was happy to see that. (I gave it an estimated value of $80 for the auction.) Might be able to find a niche in that community for my art.
I think we have a meeting coming up next week, the first Wednesday of April... I am not sure what went down last meeting as I missed it due to illness and I haven't heard from the group what our next topic will be. So, not sure where that's going. I might have to concentrate on doing a solo practice if I want to keep practicing this path. Which I think I do. I'm still finding it interesting and fairly relevant. I think the nicer weather is going to help me in re-connecting to nature a bit more, which was one of my goals for the whole thing. I admit I'm a bit of a fair-weather outdoorswoman! I don't like being out in the rain and wind and cold very much. It's much easier to enjoy being in nature when you're not shivering and pulling your hood up against the howling wind... I know that's part of nature, but I get cold so easily!
Anyway. I guess that's all for now; I have to go do the huge mountain of dishes in the kitchen. I'm pretty much resigned to doing dishes now. Every time I try and get the Fox to help more it ends up making both of us feel worse (him feeling guilty for not helping more, or trying to help more and getting dizzy, and me for bringing out the big guns of equality and unfair distribution of work when really I could get them done in half the time he can). Right now it's just easier to do them myself. You can judge me if you want (I know I have a friend or two who judge us for that) or call me a doormat or whatever, I don't really care at this point. I'm going to go with the easy way -- and, weirdly, right now that is for me to just do it myself.
Not a permanent solution, but... for now, it'll just have to be. I don't feel like creating more emotional stress for both of us when I could just suck it up and take care of it myself.
So that's all the news for now, I suppose. It seems to be a gorgeous day outside (thank goodness we are finally having some weather that isn't constant rain!) and I want to go get things done so I can go outside at some point today. I'll be popping in on a friend's birthday party later on, which should be fun. And I have tomorrow off too!! I'm so excited I don't know what to do. Maybe I'll have myself a little artist date. Remember those? Haha... I could go to Banyen Books again, or DragonSpace, or even just go have a nice latte and doodle in a cafe. We'll see!
Until next time, readers... hail and farewell!
