Anywhere you go it's the same cry; money worries

Above: it's been pretty cold the past week!!

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Merry meet! Bit of a reggae-inspired title for this post...

Well, friends, it's been a busy and tiring couple of weeks for the Fru. Money worries mean I am picking up all the paid work I can, whether extra shifts at work or creative endeavours for others. I am working on a couple of commissions for a family friend, and I will be doing some video work for his business as well in the near future. I am grateful to this person; even when he is going through chemotherapy he finds the time and energy to help us out, and we're not even really related by blood. Such kindness.

I managed to get approved for student loan repayment assistance, as well, which is a huge relief. ($265 a month worth of relief, actually.) What that means is the government is going to be paying the interest on the loan for the next six months and I won't be required to make any payments. So I was pretty happy about that. Except when I logged in to my online banking this morning to see that the regular loan payment had been taken out as usual. Agh!

I called the student loan people up to find out why, and it turns out that they require 3 business days in order for the bank to process their request to stop the recurring payment. My repayment assistance was processed a day too late for that. One day! Sigh. I should have been more on top of things, and applied for it sooner. It really just didn't occur to me for some reason.

Anyway, I pulled out what tiny savings I had into my chequing account, and that along with some of the Fox's few remaining dollars will allow us to pay the rent. Hooray!

The money shortage is also because of my Visa bill. I had a few things on there (I got some streaks in my hair a while ago, intending to use a prepaid Visa gift card, but the payment wouldn't process at the salon because I had not registered the gift card beforehand, so I had to pay using my own Visa) and made a big payment on it earlier in the month before we found out about the disability benefits being declined. So now I know not to do that again. I'll just make a smaller payment this month. With that, and without the loan payment I think we will be ok from now on, assuming that I don't take too much time off at work. Ha. Better not get sick!

So that's the stress of the moment. We've been doing pretty well with being thrifty though. I haven't had a chestnut praline latte in weeks. Haha! I do realize how lucky we really are... that the indicators of being "poor" are things like no going out for sushi or no getting fancy coffees on the way to work. It could be much worse.

The poor Fox has been stressed and feeling down because of all this. He feels useless because he doesn't have a job, even though he physically can't right now. Feeling useless leads to depression, which leads to a lack of motivation for everything. So it's been challenging for him to even do simple tasks. I have been trying to be as supportive as possible so that he doesn't feel like a burden. I did reach a bit of a boiling point the other day because he still hasn't sorted out his EI stuff, but that was before I realized that the depression had mostly been the cause of it. So, we are going to go today (or maybe Thursday, as it's already 1pm and the office closes at 4 or something) to the Service Canada office to get it sorted once and for all, hopefully. He did try phoning but he's misplaced some piece of paper which is apparently necessary to do anything over the phone. Government...

Yes, I slept in today, whoops -- but, in my defence, I did work until almost 10pm last night due to some overtime that was available. I guess one of the morning people called in sick to the deli yesterday, so we were rushing to do all the food prep in time; that, plus the fact that Mondays are always busy, meant that by the time evening rolled around we were still working madly to try and get everything prepped, put out, cleaned, organized, etc. So when my co-worker said something jokingly about me staying late, I offered in earnest! We got a manager to sign off on the extra hour of overtime and I stayed. It was slightly creepy walking home after 10pm, but I've done it later than that before.

I'm still waiting to hear more about what changes are going to happen with my position in the bakery department; I don't think my boss even knows yet, as she said she would update me as she finds out more. I can't imagine they would offer me a manager position, but possibly something like assistant manager or lead hand or whatever term they're using these days. I guess it depends on how much of the store-wide bakery manager's position she'll be taking on. They were working closely together for all of Friday, but I have no idea what they were doing. A mystery! I'll just have to wait and see.

On to the topic of health, I'm still as congested as Broadway at 5pm on a weekday. Blargh!! I think I might have sinusitis or something. I was given a nasal rinse contraption by my mom a few days ago, which I have only used once but plan to use regularly. I don't think I did it quite right; I ended up swallowing some of the solution. Tastes like the ocean! It didn't seem to overly help... and it made my nostrils feel weirdly raw. But I think I need to use it regularly to see a lasting effect, so I'm going to try it again today.

Other than that, I'm in pretty good health overall. I need to make sure I get enough sleep so I stay that way, especially on days when I wake up at 5am for work. It's hard to go to sleep early enough to get enough sleep on those nights.

Hmm, what else is new and exciting... I missed pagan group last time, unfortunately... it was divination night, too, which I was looking forward to. I had some kind of head cold thing and felt really too exhausted to go. I think there's another one this week, so I plan to get back on it. A lady in the group suggested signing up for this market research company that recruits participants for paid studies and things, which I did, and they already called me to participate in a focus group thing. I'll be paid $65 for about one hour of being bored/annoyed by questions -- not bad! Anything helps, right? That was a good suggestion of hers. She said she also has a disability and has had to use all sorts of tricks to survive. I'm glad I told the group what was going on, as they've been supportive. Just as good as any church group!

In January, assuming I'll get Sundays off (the other bakery girl is going to school and will be in class Monday to Friday, so I offered her my Sunday shift... ulterior motives? maybe...), I would like to try attending the regular Unitarian service. The Fox says he might come along too. If you're not sure what Unitarian Universalism is, Wikipedia will provide the answer, but basically you can have any belief system you want (or you can be an athiest/agnostic) and as long as you share the Unitarian values (things like the inherent worth an dignity of every person, respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part... you know, decent human being stuff) you are welcome to join and partake in whatever service they offer.

So a Unitarian can be an athiest, a neo-pagan (heeyyooo), a Christian, a Muslim, a Pastafarian, or whatever they want. That's what I like about it. They encourage spiritual growth without claiming that any one path is the One Right Correct and True Way (something that is always suspicious to me). It's kind of like the Wiccan rede: "If it harms none, do as ye will." (Those funny Wiccans, always saying ye and thou and so mote it be!) It encourages acceptance of others, which I think is becoming more important that ever, in light of recent events.

So, I'm looking forward to seeing what that will be like. Assuming that the deli doesn't get word of me not working Sundays in the bakery any more... shh...

Anyway!

Creative endeavours have been on hold for a while as I concentrate on making a living. National Novel Writing Month just ended, and I've been watching all the participants celebrate their successes and accomplishments on Facebook (I'm part of the Facebook group as I participated in 2013). I wish I had participated, too, but I knew I didn't have time this year. I'm not even done making all my Christmas soaps, and it's already December 1st! (They have to cure for a few weeks, so I really need to get on that.) Maybe later today I'll do another batch. I have to go pick up milk for us tea as we have nothing but whipping cream, which does make for a nice cuppa but there's not enough dairy in the house for us to make banana cream pie. The Fox has been on a baking spree recently. Better him than me; I'm not really a huge fan of baking, though I can do up a nice lemon loaf if I have a mind to. He made some lovely baguettes using the bread machine the other day, and I got served breakfast in bed. I don't know how he can think he's a burden...!!

Back to creative endeavours -- well, on hold for a bit. I need to finish those commissions and get started with that video stuff for my family friend. That should happen first because that results in money! However, if I have time later today or this week I will perhaps work on my own art a little. It's disappointing that I was just getting back into the swing of it and then all this money stuff happened and then suddenly I was too busy/stressed to focus on it any more. Such is life...

I need to learn to ignore the mistaken beliefs of others who don't understand why I haven't been doing art. I've gotten a bit better at it since that one time at the family dinner when someone said "I wish you hadn't given up on your art." Once your soul is slapped like that, you learn to bounce back from it quicker next time. Believe me, it has nothing to do with giving up... it seems impossible to explain to others! A lot of people think it's as easy as just spending time doing art instead of other things. And you know what, in a way they are totally right -- but they don't know what goes on in the head of an artist who is experiencing lack of inspiration and motivation, self-doubt, etc... since they are not artists they don't know what it's like. That sounds totally whiny but it's true! And there is the problem of time. When you're busy at work and working full-time, it's hard to find time to do all of your housework, grocery shopping, and other mundane chores as well as have the energy left to do any creative pursuits. Doing art is not like sitting down and relaxing. It takes a lot of mental energy, which saps your physical energy. So, like... I don't know, I'm not a wizard, and I do get overwhelmed with life and unable to work on my art. This is hard for others to understand; some just think I'm being lazy or apathetic. It's not the case.

Anyway. Whining about money and art. Woo!

We'll be going to Seattle this Saturday for a day trip. The Fox has some kind of indie video game event thing happening, and we'll be going down with our friends J & K. The Fox and J will attend the event while K and I will do... something. Haha. I don't know what exactly... I can't afford to go shopping or to any expensive attractions, so I hope the weather is nice so we can walk around outside and maybe spend some time drawing in coffee shops or something! Who knows. I should probably talk to her and see if she has anything in mind. If it were just me, I would find the closest nature trails, but I think she has a funky ankle of some sort so I don't know if walking all day is in the cards. We'll see what happens. Seattle is an interesting city so I'm sure we'll find something to do.

Other than that, nothing too much to write home about I guess.

I had better be off and actually do something today, considering it's 2pm and I'm still in my jammies. Gotta go get that milk...! (I'm supposed to be giving up dairy to see if m congestion improves, but... I have no will power...)

I'll sign off with a fun little Skyrim reference: wind guide you.